i havent written in this thing for so long, because everytime i wanted to, would read my old entries and god i have to say i think i am quite the dumbshit. all this crap i'm so ashamed i posted. i actually think i should go back and delete most of it. and i prolly will. because a lot of times i just get so self indulgent no one can tell what i'm talking about. i read and read and slowly start noticing i'm trying to be the exageration o myself, and i'm not accomplishing it. so in small words, i'm just not the person i want to be. like you put yourself where you are, but then that means i know who i love. who ever youre surrounded by. but i wish i was this hippie with the flow of jesus. i'm gonna start not writing a lot in these. so far so good i'm back on this demon painting i'm making for the fay collection... fuck it, i;m gonna take a picture and then try to sell it in antigua. i wa sin a band for a sec, but no more. been trying to edit music, but i'm such a fuck up its not even funny.